The Pink Elephant Predicament

 

For the next few moments, don’t think of a pink elephant!

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You thought of a pink elephant, didn’t you?

The more we try to suppress certain thoughts, the more likely they are to resurface even stronger. This phenomenon is what is referred to as the Ironic Process Theory or, you guessed it right, the Pink Elephant Theory.

Understanding the Pink Elephant theory is essential to dealing better with our intrusive thoughts. Most people find it a difficult task to keep unwanted thoughts at bay when told not to, like with the pink elephant thought. This task becomes even more strenuous for people who suffer from mental disorders such as anxiety, depression, OCD or PTSD.

Meet the Anxiety Monster

Obsessive, unwanted intrusive thoughts stem from significant life events like heart breaks or losing loved ones. Still, they can also come from seemingly menial events like whether you closed the tap a few seconds ago or switched off the lights when you walked out the room. These recurring thoughts tend to pop up more often when you try not to think about them. Rather annoying, isn’t it?

Anxiety is defined as our body’s natural response to stressful situations. It makes us fearful and worrisome and the anxious thoughts can cause disruption to our daily lives. We can recognise signs of anxiety including nervousness, restlessness, trembling, rapid breathing and even panic attacks. Suffering from anxiety can leave us feeling weak and tired. When we suffer from anxiety, we are unable to stop worrying for situations that don’t always warrant it.

I’m here to tell you, you’re not alone; you’re neither crazy nor obsessive.

Make Friends with the Monster

Remember Sully, Mike and Boo from the Monsters, Inc.? Besides teaching us that scary monsters can be super fun and cute, the movie taught us that we must face our fears. Anxiety is no stranger to most of us and certainly nothing to be scared of. It sure does intimidate us but ignoring the cause of our anxiety is hardly ever the solution.

When faced with unwanted intrusive thoughts, do not try to unthink them. Telling ourselves not to think of ideas we want to get rid of only makes them cling to us even more. Instead, let those thoughts occur until they start to dissipate. We must indulge ourselves in activities that make us happy; watch movies that make us laugh, play games or read books that immerse our thought process. Activities that help us distract our mind temporarily help deal with troubling thoughts better.

Many a time, what we require is to face the situation or the individual responsible for our anxiety. However, reaching out and explaining our state of mind seems too tedious a task. We’d rather just avoid confrontation and choose to deal with it by ourselves. But in most instances, dealing with issues by ourselves translates to oblivion. This unconscious ignorant attitude is what makes those negative thoughts resurface despite our efforts to bury them deep down in our minds. So, a constructive talk is most likely the key to your troubles.

Am I the Monster?

There are times when facing our fears and confronting the problem doesn’t make us feel any better. In fact, it edges us to think that if no external party is the cause of concern, we ourselves are probably the nuisance. Not finding a person or event to link our messy mind and behaviours to can get exasperating and exhausting. The feeling of putting the blame on oneself is perhaps the most dangerous thing to do. It is a never-ending spiral with no good at the end.

We could try talking to ourselves in the mirror. When quiet introspection doesn’t work because our brains are working a million thoughts a minute, consciously talking to ourselves forces our minds to slow down and be more aware. It can seem extremely difficult to do at first, but we can go a long way in dealing with our issues with practice and patience.

Think of your thoughts as a person on their deathbed trying to reach out for that one last word about where they hid the treasure; a little bit like in the movie Dhamaal. That dying person (intrusive thoughts personified) is trying to convey something important. Unless that message is put across, it can’t die in peace. In simple words, unless we hear those thoughts out, our mind can’t keep calm.

Hence, it is imperative we have honest conversations with ourselves about what is really bothering us and why. Taking ourselves out for a warm cup of coffee or simply setting apart time in the day to think about the thoughts we are trying to avoid can make anxiety feel a little less overbearing. However, in the process to do so, we could fall into the trap of identifying with our negative thoughts.

In trying to decode the reasons for our worries, we might add ourselves to the list of things to fear and thoughts to keep at bay. We indeed are our harshest critics, so we must remain kind to ourselves. A little self-love goes a long way. Revert to gloomy self-scrutiny by repeating to yourself what a dear friend said to me, “Thoughts are not the person you are.”

Conclusion: A Little Less Scared, A Lot More Smiles

We are more than what occupies our minds all day; the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. Do what is due to process personal happenings. Take your time! Meditate, doodle, bake brownies and pet dogs – the little things have the power to make us happy. The only way to silence the brain is to let it shout. So, take Elsa’s advice and just “Let it go!”

And as for that pink elephant, don’t think about it!

 

– Disha Kameldeep